I live with a Russian grandma. Her name is Valentina. She prefers to be called Valiya.
Valiya can seem extremely stereotypical at first. She has a Putin calendar in her kitchen, gets annoyed by Angela Merkel and Barack Obama on tv, has small dolls, figurings and pictures of orthodox saints all over her flat. But she is SO much more than that. She is a very wise, interesting and cultured lady. Her apartment is full of books, Russian and foreign literature, which she's happy to lend me. As for now, she doesn't speak or understand any foreign language. But earlier in her life, she studied at master level in Germany, she traveled to many places in Europe, Asia and Africa. She likes to recall those times, always with a bit of nostalgia, but also a lot of self-derision: 'you know us, old ladies, we like to look at you girls and think about our golden age. That's why we seem to always be angry and hostile...'. Valiya lives by herself in a large apartment, but she never looks lonely. At 70 years old, she still works and she is almost always on the phone with friends or family. Valiya is an oddly perfect host. I almost never see Valiya eat. She eats before I wake up or before I get home. Her favourite thing is to watch me eat while commenting the news, or telling me about her day, her nephew in Ireland or her countryside house that she spends way too much time cleaning. She's very assertive but to be such a good host commitment and efforts are not sufficient, you have to show character. No need for implicit messages, no 'would you', 'could you'. Our conversations are punctuated by sentences such as 'you never eat', 'you eat very little', 'eat!'...all in relation to food. It took less than a week to come to the conclusion that her goal was to get me fat. This brings about very funny and incongruous situations, like her coming into my room while I'm changing, looking at my body, shaking her head and going 'do you ever eat? you're so skinny!', or her expressing the desire to change 'strategies': 'I think we should give up on trying to make you eat large meals. You should eat small portions every 2/3 hours instead', or again, her waiting for me by the front door as I walk in at midnight and naturally suggesting I eat soup and 2 steaks... Valiya is turning into my third grandma, just as stubborn, oppositional, loving, and caring as the other two. I hope that in three months, I'll leave Yaroslavl knowing that I have, here, family to come back to.
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AuthorThird year student at the University of St Andrews, Scotland. Studies Russian, German and International Relations. Loves traveling. Loves languages. Loves to share. Hence, this BLOG! Archives
January 2018
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